Sad News.

It is with a heavy heart that I tell everyone that the baby is not to be.

Today was Holly's first OB appointment. After relating her history they scheduled an ultrasound the same day. We were all very impressed with the efficiency of the UMC staff in getting us into the ultrasound clinic.

Unfortunately, upon ultrasound, three concerning findings were discovered. First and foremost, there was no detectable heartbeat. While there is a possibility that the heartbeat was missed, given the gestational age, the next two findings were more ominous: there was no yolk sac present (the precursor to the digestive system which should still be present given our estimated gestational age), and the gestational sac was about 3-weeks-growth too small, indicating that it had either stopped growing or receded some time ago.

We'll be following up with the obstetrician next Monday, and Holly will receive a repeat ultrasound next Friday. The treatment plan will stem from there.

Obviously we are both heartbroken, but after a few tears and a good long nap, we are feeling pretty calm about the situation. This makes our second miscarriage, so we knew this was always a possibility. In addition, the overwhelming support we have received from friends and family does wonders in easing our pain. Holly's mother has been here in Lubbock since Wednesday and is a wonderful comfort to both of us.

We will continue to try to have a child, and we remain optimistic about the prospect of having a family. Hopefully the third time will be the charm.

Warmest regards to all our friends and family,

Cole Livingston

Rockin' The Baby Bump!

Time for an update! And it's a good one, too!

Yesterday, we were officially 8 weeks! We hit the two month mark! Happy Easter! Yay! Cole and I planned to go to church but woke up way too late! So, I said a prayer in the morning, and had some Apple Cinnamon Cheerios. I had a bit of a head ache so I struggled to study. So, we decided to watch Wallace and Gromit. We got invited to go to Tracy and Manoj's house for BBQ so off we went! It was a lot of fun to catch up with everyone and the food was awesome!

Today, I went to went to work for a few hours. After, I went to Day Break Coffee House to get some studying done. After I was there for a while, Kristin Kaminski met me to hang out. It was SO great to see her! And she surprised me with some baby gifts! Kristin is officially the first person to get the baby something. =) We had a great chat about all her cool pirate data she is collecting at her internship and Cole showed up a little later. Kristin had to leave to work some more on her paper so Cole and I stayed a little longer. I got really sleepy so we headed home. I fell asleep and woke up completely numb. It's been happening a lot to me because I sleep so hard that I don't move! After a cat nap, we headed to Steven's house for a delicious meal that he and Eunice cooked! It was great to get a chance to meet some 2nd year med students! I had a great time!

Now if only I can get all of my work done before my mom gets here. I want to get a chance to relax and hang out with her! I'm looking forward to it soooo much!

What I've had to eat:

Sunday-

Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios and OJ

Dinner: Chicken, salad and chips

Monday-

Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios and OJ

Snack: Kettle corn, oatmeal cookie, ice cream

Dinner: Bread with mushrooms, chicken with mushrooms, asparagus, pasta salad

Baby Fever

Seems like everything around me is about babies now. And every kid that sees me finds me so interesting!

Yesterday, I did school work pretty much all day. I had a lot to do and still have a research project and homework project to do. We did end up going to eat dinner with Catherine at Chili's which was lots of fun!

Today, I woke up at noon, which was FANTASTIC! Cole and I had lunch... Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, yum! Then, I headed to the store with Catherine for Natalie's baby shower stuff. We had lots of fun shopping! I headed home and Cole made us some grilled cheese sandwiches and we did lots of chores.

After, we went and walked our neighbor Sierra's cat which was funny. He's so cute!

I think we are headed out to see Hot Tub Time Machine. Should be funny!

What I've had to eat:
Friday:
Breakfast: Cheerios and OJ
Lunch: Ravioli-o's
Dinner: Chili's half of a Hamburger and chips and salsa

Today:
Breakfast: Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
Lunch: Grilled cheese sandwiches
Dinner TBD

Everyone knows now! Yay!

It is so nice to have everyone knows the great news! Today was a lot of fun because people didn't know whether or not it was an April Fools joke. It started out with my office, then we decided to do the same thing on Facebook.

Okay, so I need to update about yesterday and today. Yesterday, I took off of work so that I could try and catch up on some of my school work. I got a lot done, but there was still a lot left to do. I had to go up to the HSC for lunch to give Cole his stuff for surgical anatomy. After spending the morning and afternoon studying, I called Tracy and we decided to go to the pool. We stayed about an hour and but it was so much fun! I am not big enough yet to where people are curious about my belly. If you don't know, it's not too obvious. But I did feel pretty old and pregnant next to all the college kids! After the pool, Tracy and I went to Bahama Bucks because we had a coupon! Bubble Gum shaved ice is amazing whenever it is 90 degrees outside! I came home after, and studied some more, had some dinner and went to bed.

Today, I went to work and worked my April Fools Day magic. After, I came home, grabbed Cole, ate at Double Daves and we went to Walmart to grab some groceries and get me more vitamins. We had a dollar off coupon and forgot to use it. Don't you hate that? I took a small nap and woke up to study some more. We had dinner, went to Day Break and now we are home!

Alright you guys, if you pray, I need your help! We want everything to be healthy, but the first trimester is the scariest! We told all of you, now we need your prayers!

Thanks so much for all of the congratulations! It means a lot to us, and we are super excited!

What I have had to eat:

Yesterday-

Breakfast: Apple

Lunch: Freebirds burrito

Snack: Pringles

Dinner: PB&J and an orange with OJ

Today-

Breakfast: Cheerios and OJ

Lunch: Pizza from Double Daves

Dinner: Frozen meal

April Fools on the April Fools!

I know I got a lot of you. So this blog is proof that it is true!

Who Turned on the Water Works?

Goodness, I am crying A LOT! Cole was playfully making fun of me at the coffee shop today, and I started tearing up even though I knew that it was a joke! I was laughing and crying...right there in public!

Then, tonight while I'm studying, I have been listening to the Lullabies CD that my mom gave me and I turned to Cole crying because it was "so sweet"!

I am praying so hard. I want my child to be healthy soooo bad! I'm so attached already. I just have a good feeling this time. I think it just hit me that the baby is coming. Oh my gosh....the baby is coming...

Goodnight my sweet baby

Week 3 to Week 7 - Jeans Getting Snug!

Click the picture to make it larger!

I don't have much time, because I need to do schoolwork, but I wanted to post this picture!

Daddy's First Blog

Soooooo, I'm sorry I haven't contributed much to the blog yet. Been a bit busy with med school and all. Plus, I've got a pregnant wife to take care of.

All of the pretty meal pictures you've seen so far have been my handiwork for the most part. Lately, I haven't been cooking the fancier stuff due to lack of time. Last week was kinda hectic. This week is better; just a National Board of Medical Examiners' comprehensive test over all the Physiology material I've learned since the beginning of January.

(What's hilarious is, if I play it off correctly, the people who read this will think med school is a breeze for me.)

(wait, pretend you didn't read that)

Right now, Holly's doing yoga on Wii Fit again. We actually just got the upgraded Plus version which lets you design your own routines. It's a lot cheaper than trying to find a pregnancy yoga class. With teen pregnancies as high as they are in Lubbock, it'd be more likely to find a pregnancy hip-hop class.

In all seriousness, I'm really pumped about the baby. I've been wanting a kid for a while now. Hopefully everything works out.

~Cole

What I love about Sundays

Today was a beautiful day! The sun was shining and the weather was perfect. We went to church this morning thinking that we were going to be really late and we actually ended up on time because the service didn't start until 30 minutes later! We even got a parking spot really easily!

After church, we went to Cracker Barrel and I got chicken and dumplings. It was so yummy! We sat in the rocking chairs outside and there was a UT one. It occurred to me that it was the first time that I had rocked my baby.

We took a nap and woke up to a text message from Manoj who wanted us to come watch the Baylor basketball game. We threw on some green shirts and headed to Craig's house. Baylor was doing so well but they lost at the very end. I know all the Baylor fans were really disappointed! We headed home after that and had some pizza when we got home. We watched the Grey's Anatomy episodes we have missed over the past couple weeks while chowing down.

I'm still feeling pretty good and I think things are going well in there! I'm a little nauseous right now, but that's a good thing! Week 7 everyone! Please pray! This is an important week for us to get past!

What I had to eat today:

Missed breakfast because we slept in and went to church right away!

Lunch: Chicken and Dumplings with fried okra, beans and corn bread

Dinner: Left over pizza

Hmmm only two meals, maybe that's why I feel so nauseous!

What a fun day!

Today was a great day! I woke up at a normal time and cleaned the house. Later, we got to go see How To Train Your Dragon with our friend Tracy! It was a really cute movie and we left feeling good! I ate a BUNCH of popcorn at the movies. But surprisingly, I do not feel sick! I let Tracy and Natalie know because I spend a lot of time with both of them. Natalie can give me pregnancy advice! (since she's due next month!) It's great having a med student/neighbor/great friend to talk to! Tracy needed to know because she is my "Lubbock BFF" as we say, and so that she would understand why I was turning down all of her offers to go to the gym and to go downtown!

After the movie, we went to Target to get a can of cat food for Danny and Wii Fit Plus with a gift card. When we arrived in the parking lot at Target, we were laughing so hard that we were crying because it was a battlefield of Target baskets! The wind was so strong today that it blew the carts everywhere!

Danny has had some pretty crazy allergies today. He has been sneezing little cat sneezes because of all the dust. We are all suffering from allergies!

Yesterday was a catch up day for me. Once I was off of work, I had to go to Day Break Coffee House and work on homework. (Don't worry, I just had a cup of hot chocolate!) After I got all of my school work done, Cole and I headed over to Tracy and Manoj's house. The boys played beer pong while Tracy, Young and I got a chance to hang out. I was able to tell Tracy that I was pregnant in private without the others hearing. I'm glad she finally knows!

I have a lot of school work to get done before my mom comes into town. I want to be able to spend all of my time focusing on having fun with her! I'm so glad that she will be in town for my first appointment. It is very exciting, but I am kind of nervous about it at the same time! I keep praying that everything will be alright. My mom got me a Lullabies for Baby CD which also came with a free years subscription to Parents magazine. I can't wait to get my first issue! Thanks Mom!

What I've had to eat:

Friday:

Breakfast- Honey Bunches of Oats and OJ

Lunch- Pei Wei

Dinner- Pizza (It's not delivery! It's DiGiorno!)

Snack- Cheerios

Saturday:

Breakfast- Cheerios and Milk

Lunch- Left over Pei Wei and OJ

Snack- Movie Popcorn! Yum!

Dinner- A bowl of soup

In a little over an hour, we will be at 7 weeks! Yay!!

Daddy is just as exhausted as Mommy

Cole has been working his tail off studying for his endocrinology test coming up tomorrow. He is absolutely exhausted. Last night, he didn't come home until 3:30AM and accidentally woke me up. Once something wakes me up, that's it. I'm awake. We went to Jason's Deli with Natalie today and got a chance to catch up!

I am studying less and less. I'm definitely not taking three classes during the summer. I just can't find the time because I'm always falling asleep in the middle of the day! Sunday is week 7. I am so nervous, I just want my baby to be healthy! Week 7 was the week that we miscarried last time. I'm so nervous, but I'm trying not to think about it too much! I had some cramping last night, but they were gone after about an hour. Pray for us!

I'm so blessed with such a supportive husband and a great family.

What I've had to eat:

Wednesday:

Breakfast- Honey Bunches of Oats

Lunch- Chicken with rice, green beans, corn and a roll

Dinner- Jason's Deli Chicken Pot Pie

Today:

Breakfast- Honey Bunches of Oats

Lunch- Mac and Cheese, Salt and Pepper Quakes (very yummy!) and an Oatmeal Creme Pie

Dinner- Taco Bell Burrito with only beans and rice and bread sticks

Back home and exhausted!

Cole and I just got home this morning. Both of us are very tired and we had a long day. We woke up at around 5:45AM and got home at around 9:30AM. He had to go to class and I had to go to work. As soon as I got home from work, I took a long nap. We are ready for a good night's sleep!

Last night we went to Trudy's and got to see Nickie Hebert one last time. I had so much fun getting to catch up with her!

What I had to eat today:

Breakfast: Pizza, OJ

(slept through lunch)

Snack: Celery

Dinner: Oatmeal, water

week 7

Week 7

• Elbows form
• Fingers develop
• Feet develop tiny notches for toes
• Ears, nose and eyes appear
• Intestines start to form in the umbilical cord
• Teeth develop under the gums

Last day in Austin

We are at Starbucks and I am supposed to be studying. From the looks of things, it looks like Cole isn't getting much done either. I could be wrong...

For breakfast we were at Kerbey Lane and we just happened to run into Leah and her fianceé Jeff. We didn't even plan it that way!! Leah and I must have some sort of a religious connection, because it seems like a lot of the things that she says and thinks about connect with my thoughts and feelings.

Tonight, we plan on going to Trudy's for some Migas. I'm really excited! I love Austin food, but it is very expensive. It's worth it right now because the baby is getting fed some really good food!

My mom is going to be flying into Lubbock for my first doctor's appointment. It will be good for her to be there because of the nerves as well as the excitement! I sure hope everything will be okay...

I still have not had any sickness, only nausea. My belly is really starting to grow, though! I was talking to my mom about it and she said it will be very hard for me to hide since I am such a small person. She had the same thing happen to her with Paul. Every day I'm noticing changes. Might be too much information, but hopefully my boobs have stopped growing....I don't want to have to buy new underwear! Haha!

Breakfast/lunch: Kerbey Lane Eggs, fruit, pancake, OJ and Cowboy Queso

Snack: Hot chocolate =)

Party at Uncle Paul's house!

We had a late celebration for Cole's birthday and Paul was kind enough to let us use/invade his house this weekend. We had quite the turn out last night!

List of People who came:

Cole, Holly, Paul, Kristen, Josh, Mitch, Kate, Jesse, Roy, Joe Marranzino, Katie Montgomery, Joey, Sarah Landry, Jung, Sandra, Nickie Hebert, Eric Eeds, Gabe Rodriguez, Daniel Sienz, Matt Carey, Steven, Spenser, Travis, and Travis' cousin.

Saturday evening, we went to the Texas Chili Parlor, where I got to see Beth Brooks!!! It was so amazing to see her, it's been way too long. We got to catch up on lots of stuff!

Friday we finished the yard and did the chores. Our parents showed up and after we went to eat, we played Rock Band. After that, we went downtown which was packed! We still had lots of fun.

What I've had to eat:

Friday-

Breakfast: Cereal

Lunch: Dairy Queen Chicken Strip basket

Dinner: Rudy's BBQ and OJ

Saturday-

Lunch: Zen Habachi bowl and water

Dinner: Texas Chili Parlor Frito Pie and water

In Austin!

Cole and I arrived yesterday morning in Austin and we are so happy to see everyone! I am really excited because this will be the first time the whole family is together since Thanksgiving.

Yesterday, Cole and I helped Paul get rid of the weeds in the backyard. It was good exercise! Cole and Paul are finishing up the weeding today. We watched YouTube videos last night until we went to bed. We also went to Macaroni Grill with Paul, Jesse and Roy. It was a lot of fun to chat with them!

This morning I went by my old work to say hello. My parents are supposed to get here tonight and Kristen and Josh should be here sometime today as well. Jung and Sandra are coming tomorrow because he has a lot to do in Dallas. SXSW (South By South West) is in town so I'm not sure if we are going to go to any of the shows. It's pretty busy downtown, and I don't know if it's worth the trip.

What I had to eat yesterday:

Breakfast: Granola bar, Cereal and OJ

Lunch: Pasta

Dinner: Macaroni Grill pasta

(I'm probably going to have pasta a lot these next few days because that's what I bought to eat whenever we don't go out to eat anywhere.)

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

This morning we would have left on time until Cole mentioned that I was not wearing green. So I had to run up to get my St. Patty's Day hair tie so that I would not get pinched! Work was good, no surgeries today. Ha

We had to do a lot of laundry today! 3 loads worth, to be exact! Lots of chores and what not. But I am pretty tired tonight and have to get up early tomorrow morning, so I'll make this one short.

Breakfast: Honey Bunches of Oats, OJ

Snack: Salad and cornbread

Lunch: Frozen Meal

Dinner: the rest of the frozen meal

I officially can't suck my belly in anymore! It's bad!

Doing well! And feeling better!

Today, I woke up a little late and I ended up getting to work late. I stayed later to make up for the time that I was late. I ran charts to and from the clinic with Beth and actually got a lot of walking done today!

Another really cool thing that I got to do...that Cole hasn't even had the chance to do, are some laparoscopic surgery lessons! It was so cool! I was great at the first step where you use the graspers to grab triangles off of pegs and move them to a free peg. The second step was a lot harder. You use a grasper in your left hand while using scissors in your right hand to cut out a circle. Has nothing to do with baby Livingston, I know. But it's so cool!!!

Work went by really fast and after we were done, Cole and I went to Freebirds to eat. After that, we went by the apartments we were planning to move into. I'm having second thoughts about it, but it could be just my hormones making me nervous. I'm going to leave it up to Cole because I'm sure sometimes I'm irrational. This evening I helped Cole study for his ECE exam and played some Wii Fit. I have gained .4lbs since Friday. Seems pretty healthy to me!

Today is the first day in a long time where I got through an entire day without a nap. I've been feeling pretty good. But I am exhausted now. My uterus is stretching still, and I can feel it getting bigger. It's getting harder to suck in already. That's a great sign!

My hormones have been keeping life interesting. I laugh so hard that I cry. Here's a video that made me crack up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwM6uQYwhHk

What I've had to eat today:

Breakfast: Honey Bunches of Oats, OJ

Lunch: Half of a Freebirds Burrito and half an order of chips and queso

Dinner: Eggs, Potatoes, a Clementine and Bacon

Tried to go to work today...

So this morning started at an early 5AM. Cole was finally finished studying for his test and came to bed, which woke me up. After laying in bed for a few minutes wondering what I should do, Danny, our cat, made the decision for me. He started making that awful cat puking noise, so I quickly hopped out of bed. Luckily I caught the throw up in a tissue before it reached the carpet. I decided to throw it out, wash my hands, and eat breakfast. As soon as I enter the kitchen, I shrieked in terror. What natural disaster hit our kitchen?

Oh that's right, I was sick. Cole doesn't clean very well...

Annnnd there ya go. Danny got a bit of left over soup. THAT'S why he threw up this morning. So I did the chores, got ready to go to work and by the time all of that was done, it was almost time to leave. We ended up leaving early to grab some breakfast at the cafeteria at the hospital. We picked up Natalie from her apartment, and off we went.

I grabbed my breakfast and Cole and Natalie split to study some more for their GI physiology test. I then headed up to work...where I was actually early for once. I sat down, popped open my yogurt and then became exhausted. Yeah....probably not a good idea for me to try and go to work this early. I needed another day's rest so I headed home after working only an hour.

I got home, crashed and woke up when Cole got home. Then went back to sleep after a quick snack and Cole joined in on the nap. (He did only get one hour because of all the studying!) I woke up with a crazy amount of energy! I haven't felt this good in a while! Danny and I came up with a plan in order to wake Cole up so we could eat. We were both very hungry. Danny jumped on Cole while I poked him until he finally woke up. Danny was fed and off we went for our dinner.

They were having a charity thing at Triple J's, so we decided to go. Cole and I shared a salad, Chicken Pot Pie and some bread. I quickly devoured the meal and socialized a bit. Then it was off to the grocery store. We tried to go to Walmart, but right now it is sleeting/snowing/flooding. And....Walmart was impossible to get to without drowning our car. So we decided to go to United. That was a very expensive grocery trip and not to mention, they walk your groceries out to your car for you. It's very strange....I'm young. I can get the groceries, thanks.

We just got home and put all the groceries away. Cole looks at me and says, "I didn't want to say anything at the restaurant and I don't know about you, but I didn't get enough to eat."

"...Ummmm.....Yeah. I think I ate pretty much the entire meal."

Cole responds, "You should have had another roll."

"...I had two..."

Well, there goes the sharing meals trick we always use! Cole is now eating a bowl of cereal to end his hunger. His wife ate all his food! =(

What I've had to eat today:

Breakfast: Yogurt, OJ and fruits

Snacks: String cheese and honey roasted peanuts

Lunch: A bowl of Cheerios

Dinner: (Most of) A Chicken Pot Pie, Salad, bread and water

My uterus is growing quick! It's supposed to be the size of a large grapefruit. I already feel huge even though I don't look like it on the outside. I can feel stuff going on that I've never felt before!

A weekend of recovery

Both Cole and I have been struggling with some sort of bug. It might have started off as allergies, but it has turned into a cold. Sorry I missed a day. I didn't even have the energy to get out of bed to grab my laptop. It was a full day of just sleeping. Danny, our cat, might have the cold as well. He has had a dry nose these past few days and hasn't been getting us up at the usual hour to feed him. I read about animals and humans spreading colds, and apparently, animals can give humans colds if their immune system is compromised. Well, there you have it. It is a fact that my immune system has lowered itself so that my body doesn't reject the baby! Thanks for getting me sick, Danny. Haha

I had my second craving late last night. I wanted Hush Puppies so bad! But Cole and I both didn't feel up to going out to get them. Pretty random craving, though!

What I've had to eat these last few days:

Saturday

Breakfast: Blueberry muffins and milk

Lunch/Dinner: Left over beef chili and OJ

(Probably didn't have enough to eat, but I've felt so bad that I didn't have much of a choice!)

Sunday

Breakfast: Oatmeal and OJ

Too early to eat lunch and dinner, so I'll post that later.

Sniffle....sniffle

Today I have been struggling big time with my allergies. This desert is sometimes awful....the dust really gets to me. But other than fighting allergies, I've felt pretty good today! I did have to come home and take a nap before I worked on my school work.

I had my first craving today! A Dairy Queen Star Popsicle! It was so delicious...it definitely hit the spot. I haven't had one of those in a really long time!

Things I have had to eat today:

Breakfast: Cheerios and OJ

Lunch: Olive pizza and water

Snack: DQ Popsicle

Dinner: Pei Wei Chicken Fried Rice and Noodles

Not exactly the healthiest day, but it was yummy. It could have been a lot worse!

I've been doing Wii Fit every day and it seems to keep me feeling pretty stretched out. I always do the Yoga stuff. I didn't do it today because I feel kinda groggy already. I'll start back up tomorrow.

It's like a constant game of Hungry Hungry Hippos!

I am constantly hungry! But once I get the food, I eat a normal amount before I start to feel sick!

My Facebook status for today:
"Cole and I were headed out of the TTU Health Sciences Center to get pizza for lunch and God said, "Have something healthier! Here ya go, left over wraps from a medical educational meeting." Thanks God!"

Tonight we are having Delilah and Matt over for dinner. We are having beef steak chili. It should be pretty yummy!!

Well, no change other than being hungry and tired all the time!

What I've had to eat today:
Breakfast- The last of the Apple Jacks, OJ
Lunch- Chicken wraps, Doritos and Water

Dinner- Beef Steak Chili and water

I had to tell one friend. So, who is it? It has to be Miss Keller because she can keep a secret and she's my oldest and dearest friend. I mean, come on, I need someone to complain to about how gross I feel! And I think my family will get tired of me complaining before my first trimester is over!

Sleepy.....still =)

Another sleepy day, and I was able to stay at work for a little bit longer than usual. I'm preparing myself for taking on another job. (If I get it)
I came home and took another long nap. It's crazy that my body just can't even function unless I sleep a lot! It's been good though because my symptoms are a lot stronger than they were last time around. When I woke up from my nap I was really nauseous and almost threw up. But I grabbed something to eat and all is well. I worked on my homework and watched Office Space. Luckily this week is pretty light as far as homework is concerned. Spring break is next week, thank God. That will give me a chance to catch up!

I am still praying very hard. I want this pregnancy to be a healthy one!

Things I had to eat today:
Breakfast: Apple Jacks and OJ
Lunch: PB&J, kettle chips, an orange
Dinner: Mac and Cheese
Snack: Nilla wafers and an apple

Exhausted!

Today was another very sleepy day. I woke up exhausted and struggled to get through the work day. But I did it! When I got home, I passed out and slept for about 4 hours. Cole cooked an apple chicken spinach salad which was really good. He didn't like the cooked spinach, though.

I posted a comment on Facebook asking people to "Pray for me and my family. =)" I think some people have figured it out. I know Beth Brooks has! I am dying to tell everyone, but it's just not time yet.

I called both my parents and Cole's parents last night to let them know that we were expecting. I think all of them are very excited. Cole has already started looking at names again. I get frustrated with it, but eventually we'll agree on something. I mean, we do have nine months! =)

I need to find some way to fit in my homework. Things should get interesting...

Changes in my body:
The cramping from yesterday stopped. I think it is just my uterus stretching to make room. I worry about taking to warm of a shower. But, everything should be fine. I can tell that strange things are going on. I haven't been this tired since I did route work for my previous job. I fall asleep in random places...it's pretty funny.

What I ate today:
Breakfast- Kix
Snack- Baked Cheetos
Lunch- Left over rice and beans stuffed bell peppers from last night
Dinner- Apple chicken spinach salad
Snack- String cheese

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Cole and I went to Austin this past weekend for his birthday. It was a lot of fun and we got to see a lot of people! A lot of you who will be reading this were there that night, and as you recall, I was not drinking because of lent. Well, this is true, but I also had a feeling something was up!
Before we left, there were many signs that got me thinking that I might be pregnant. My eating schedule was off, I was very exhausted and obviously, I was late. So before I left for Austin, I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Well, okay...I'll give it some more time.

Cole and I went out with all of our friends to celebrate his birthday. I'm not sure if those of you who attended remember there being a girls car and a guys car. Well, I came home a little later than everyone else because Katie and I got a test for me, and sure enough....

Positive!

We spent the rest of the time there knowing that we were going to (hopefully) have a child! I was dying to tell everyone, but I couldn't. I only told my siblings. This way if anything were to happen, I wouldn't have to tell everyone.

I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but Cole and I miscarried back in 2008. We decided that if we were to ever get pregnant again, we would wait until we were in the second trimester to tell everyone. No one knows except for the siblings right now. This is because Katie happened to be with me whenever I tested positive so it was only fair to tell the rest of my siblings! This blog isn't going to be seen unless we get there, so I apologize for the secret!

Today, I have had some cramping, which is really scary for a new mother! I'm hoping it's just my body preparing for the baby and not my greatest fear. I took another test a few minutes ago in order to calm my nerves. We had second positive test. So as far as I know, everything should be good! My first doctors appointment is April 8th. I'm really excited but anxious as well.

So I have to give props to some people who called it before the tests were positive:

• The first person, you guessed it, was my mother-in-law. She stated that her "antenna was up" a week before.
• Sierra, my neighbor, was the second.
• Leah was the third. She said that she had a dream that I had a baby bump in August.

Crazy how it all works out!

For dinner we had rice and beans stuffed red peppers. It was the best!!!

It's positive!

Cole's 5th annual 21st birthday

We traveled to Austin for Cole's birthday spontaneously this past weekend. I knew something was up because I wasn't eating right and I had felt a little nauseated. Technically, I did give up caffeine and alcohol for lent, but it was for a reason, y'all! Katie Montgomery and I spent a little extra time dropping off Brittany Chan. Well, after we dropped off Brittany, we went back to Katie's apartment so that I could test. And....


Ta-Da!
A positive digital pregnancy test!


I have to give a few people credit:

I got a call from Mary Anne (my mother-in-law) saying that her "antenna was up."
I talked to Sierra, my neighbor, before leaving Austin because she took care of Danny. She asked if I was pregnant.
Leah called me saying she had a dream she was getting married in August and I had a baby bump.

Well, you all called it!

None of you will see this blog until the time is right. I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but Cole and I had a miscarriage back in 2008. It was very difficult for us to tell everyone that we were no longer expecting. Don't be mad that we saved the exciting news until the second trimester! I want to make sure that everything goes well.

Today I was experiencing some cramping, but nothing too major.

My first doctor's appointment is April 8th. Let's hope for the best!

Snow Days!

Wow, this nation has been hit pretty hard with the storm system. All states are having problems with snow and it's hard to believe that Florida has seen some, as well! School is going well, but I would like to have more time to really get a chance to focus on every course. There just is not enough time in the day!

I just started working in the Surgery Department at the local hospital. It is amazing...the first time in a long time that I actually look forward to going work every day! That has not happened since my job back in undergrad. All of the people are hard workers and they have great personalities! Everyone pulls their own weight, what a relief! And to know that I am actually helping people(maybe in a round-a-bout way)...well, it is a great feeling.

The local coffee house has become my new best friend. After work, I am usually exhausted. If I stay home, then I find myself asleep before I know it! I have to stay up in order to get all of my work finished for school. But as I sit here, I have seen some very interesting people. Everyone with their headphones...even though coffee shop music is already playing, intensely staring at their computers and books. It is so nice to be in this environment. I love to learn, even though I feel like it is one of my weaknesses. It is very hard for me to learn new concepts. But if I do not keep learning, I become (as the Mr. would say) a very "sad panda".

Sunday is Valentine's Day. I feel that people focus too much on the love for their significant other and not enough focus is put on their love for their friends! I am thankful for my friends, they are what keep me going every day! Until next time, Happy Valentine's Day!

So much to update...

I think I have been intensionally avoiding my blog because I have so much to update on...

I am officially working towards my Masters in Science for Clinical Practice Management. I feel so blessed that I have to opportunity to get a masters degree. Nursing probably would have not been the best decision for me. I would have wanted some management opportunities and it would have been years before I would get the chance to use my experience.

The more I dive into these classes, the more I realize that I have made a great decision! I am taking Leadership, Research and Marketing. All of these classes are, of course, geared towards the health care field. It is all very interesting material. Keeping up with the discussion boards is the most difficult thing. Oh, the entire program is entirely online based. How's that for self-discipline?

I went on a cruise the week of Christmas. It was a lot of fun, but I feel like I missed the holiday! It is hard to keep your mind believing that it is Christmas when you are in Zihuatanejo and it is close to 90 degrees outside. But, the food... I am still trying to get used to eating normally again. Stuffing my face with endless quality food...

Today, I went to Starbucks instead of my usual local coffee shop because we got a much needed gift card. However, I had to leave and go to the local coffee shop because I did not want to listen to The Hills episode that was going on at the table next to me.

Diving into the work

Life is still great, but the work is starting to pile on! My grades are pretty good, but I'm hoping to raise them a little more. I thought I'd do a little better than I have, but I can't be too hard on myself because it has been so long since I've seen a multiple choice test. I had to become an on-call employee at my new job because I was not able to put enough time towards my school work.

I do not even have a chance to work on this blog or keep in touch with as many people as I would like. But I am going home to visit everyone

for my birthday because there was an amazing sale going on for Southwest Airlines. I miss my siblings and friends back home because my best memories were spent with these people. I forgot about how hard it is to make new friends, but I am meeting some awesome people of all different backgrounds

My mom came to visit which was very fun! I took her to school with me, we went to museums and got to do various other things!

Danny has been very happy here. But he has started to over-groom himself so we had to spray Bitter Apple on his belly. He is not too happy with us at the moment, but it is for his own good.

For now, that is all I have to report. Life is nice and boring and I have nothing to complain about. The family is doing great and we are hanging in there!

Looking Forward

There are many times where I have felt regret for a decision I have made in the past. The people I find that are the happiest, are those who have no regret for their decisions they have made throughout lives.

As you know, I left my job to pursue a new career. And I have no regret for the first time in my life for a huge decision such as this one. My soul is free and the colors are so much brighter. I was so worried that I would look back at what I had left behind, but I have not! My direction is still clear.

However, for the first time since my return to school, I have arrived at a spot where I am a little

nervous about an upcoming exam. I tell my friends and family, if I'm using all of my savings

for these classes, I'd better be perfect in everything. (Also, I have to support their football

team.) It's difficult to balance my own education with helping my husband with his. Not only because I care about his grades, but because the things that he is introduced to everyday, are so much more exciting than what I like to call my "kindergarten classes."

Although, I'm starting to realize that I am being left in the dust. His classes are becoming more difficult and complex, to the point where I can no longer follow without pretending to understand. Maybe one day when I have the appropriate education under my belt, I'll understand the foreign language that is spoken in conversations that I eavesdrop on in the medical building.

I have started a new job in the medical field that I absolutely ADORE. The people I work with have an excellent sense of humor that is similar to my own. The fact that I was able to find a job such as this one in this economy is impressive. I have my old career to thank for that. I did not expect that my previous occupation would help me get my foot in the medical field door.

Another thing that I have noticed about myself that is worth mentioning is that I am no longer the same person I was before. I have a rough edge to me that was not there before I left my last career. I no longer let people to advantage of me, and I actually tell them how I feel to their face. I explained this to my sister and she said something that struck me as very interesting. I will have less friends than I did before, but these friends will be the kind of people that I will stick with for the rest of my life because they care.

And I have taken the turn...

I am now living my new life, in a new town, with a new journey. It's a fresh start, just as I thought it would be! I am much happier already and there is so much to learn! It's like walking into the library for the first time when you don't know how to read. Where do you begin? But it is exciting! Who knows what the future holds?

Now, I have taken a step backwards into college life. It is very surreal to come back to the life that I once lived and yet see it from a different perspective! I have to carefully balance my arrogance from the knowledge that I already have obtained and the ignorance that I have to the medical field. I am with a younger generation, who have no idea what the work force entails. But I am among medical students and nursing students who will always be a step ahead of me.

But, the world is ours. We can learn anything we want to about the human body. And if it has not been researched, then we may research it! There is nothing like holding a human heart in the palm of your hands! There are not very many people in this world that get the opportunity to study the human body. God's creations are truly amazing!

Journey

As I near the end of my current career, I am thankful for all that it has taught me. I know who I am as a person and what my strengths and weaknesses are. I will soon be taking a turn at the fork of the road up ahead. This is for the best but I know I have much to learn. I have been studying the different books that the husband recommends I read, and some of it is a foreign language. I just have to trust that I am a quick learner and it will come with time.

Although I am itching with excitement and anticipation for my new life, I cannot help but to feel saddened to see that other path go another way. A part of me feels lonely because I have known my current job for two years now, and it is hard to see it disappear in the distance.

Thank God my husband and best friend will be off to the desert with me. At least I will know someone while I am out there. That is a start! My husband is going into medical school so we will be able to study together and help each other learn. My best friend is pursuing nursing as well, but may decided to change if she finds something more suiting.

Aid

After much thought on what to do with my life, I've decided to take a huge dive off of the bridge of comfort and land in the lake of uncertainty. Nursing will be a complete change in lifestyle. I will be back in school for a few years not to mention back into the broker-than-broke lifestyle. The husband will continue through medical school but now we will be a little tight on cash. But I'm going to do it, because it will fulfill my desire to help people (which sounds generic, but if you know me, you know this is true.) Business is exactly what it sounds like; business. Tomorrow I get to tell my boss that I am leaving the job, and plan to become a nurse. My blood also has turned into more of a red color than orange...

Change

Why do people get tired of music after they listen to it too much? I know that I go through phases of liking certain types of music but it changes on a month to month basis. It's amusing how people can hate a genre and others can love it.

Do you ever find yourself turning down your radio when other people get into your car? Especially being a new business woman, I've got all sorts people of all different age groups and cultures in my car. For example: my party CD might not be appropriate for say, my boss's boss. I've found that going with country usually is a safe choice.

We will be traveling to Denver very soon. I'm excited to see snow and buy sleds only to return them in great condition a few days later. Two or three winters ago, we had snow and ice here at home and Danny thought it was neatest thing that has happened in his kitty-life. Maybe we'll get lucky this winter. It's doubtful since it is in the 70's and it's mid-November.

Leadership

I've always thought of myself as a very young person at heart. But as time goes on, I realize that I am getting much older. Who knew that my life would be so different in just a short time span. Youth does not last forever. And although I am still quite young, I'm starting to realize the person that I am expected to be by my family, friends and coworkers. I am a leader in many different ways. But I still need to find the right way to lead people to where they can have high expectations of themselves.

I know that I have always been hard on myself, but I do not think that I would be where I am today without the high goals that I have set. I have not met all of my goals, and it has hurt me. However, I am doing things to help achieve those goals, even if it is in a different way than I originally thought it would play out.

Art and music have always been my passion. I was going to make music my occupation until I realized that it was going to destroy the love I had for it. I put away my instruments for years so that I could once again listen to music as a whole, and not over analyze it.

I am joining a community band in order to help myself keep my mind off of my responsibilities and the stressful issues I deal with every day. I hope that music will be everything that it was before that time where I pushed myself too hard. Maybe one day I will find the joy that I once had for artwork as well.

Life can be strange at times.

Danny peed on the carpet the other day. We had not cleaned the litter box in quite some time. So really, it was our fault. Another test of responsibility, I guess. Thanks a lot Danny.

Responsibility

As time goes by and life gets a little more complicated, I realize there is so much paperwork to do. How is it that you need a form for every little thing? It's amazing when you think about how many forms are out there in our world. We even have forms for our pets. Something just seems so ironic about that.

I had a dream that I was shot in the back. It hurt a lot. People would say that it was a sign that I feel that I have been hurt by someone is some way. I don't really think that's true. But I do get people taking advantage of my hospitality more than you could possibly imagine. I could do so much more if people would just be my friend instead of walk all over me. The great thing is, I have a cat that knows that he is in charge of our household. He will take care of me and listen to my complaints and empathize.

Yes, and you will hear about this cat quite a bit. Danny is an amazing fellow. I do believe that he has a soul of an old man at times. Other times, he's a stubborn teenager. But regardless, he's a cool cat and a great pal. But he is my husband's cat.

This keeps me from being responsible for his cat-like actions. I'm sure you are aware that cats cannot be trusted.

They do entertain their humans with some intelligent moves, and some not so intelligent ones.

Introduction

There's nothing like the feeling of a clean slate waiting for your first mark.

My days are busy, I sleep a lot and I stay away from computers and TV as much as possible. Now that we have cleared all of this up, I hope you are not expecting me to write novels for you. However, I hope that I do interest you, despite my terrible grammar and spelling. And yes, I will be writing for two...since my other half does not believe in journals. (Or so it seems)

I feel that I have some major soul searching to do.

This will be my struggle to stay onto the path of my opinion of a good life. I fall off that path occasionally and I become a negative person. But usually that happens in the safety of my own home.

I know there is good in everyone. My purpose on this earth is to bring out the best in people. Life is too exciting to have people angry with each other.


Sometimes life can put me into interesting situations. My career is tough, and at times I am not comfortable. Somehow I need to teach myself to relax and realize that it is all okay. The people that I have to talk to are only human and make mistakes too. Unfortunately, it's not always that simple.

Today, I made friends with a janitor. His smile was real. It's fantastic to see someone who has bright eyes.